Thoughts from the Mat

This morning I did not want to do yoga.

That is not uncommon for me.

If I think about it too much, I talk myself out of it.

My brain tries to hijack me and says things like:

I don’t want to be still.

I don’t want to feel uncomfortable.

I don’t have time for this today.

This is not abnormal for me, nor is it for you.

Our primitive brain wants ease, comfort, and immediate pleasure.

Nothing has gone wrong. This is what our primitive brains do.

When this part of our brain is in charge, we get immediate pleasure or temporary relief, but nothing long-lasting.

It’s not very effective at helping you get what you truly want, long-term. It’s like a toddler throwing a tantrum and wanting its way.

Our higher brain, aka prefrontal cortex, is the place where we make conscious and thoughtful decisions based on our deepest desires for the best things.

My choice today was to be aware of my primitive brain, but choose yoga anyway.

I told myself, I know you don’t want to do yoga right now, but you will feel much better when you’re done.

So today, I showed up late.

Wore my pajamas.

Left my Zoom camera off.

Struggled through the class a little and then I let go….

I chose to be present on my mat.

Once I made that choice, I had some new awareness.

I noticed that my body wasn’t as flexible as it was two weeks ago.

That my hips felt tight and my mid-section didn’t want to turn.

My body felt the aftermath of the holidays and some extra weight I put on.

I noticed that usually I’d criticize myself and judge my body when these types of awareness is present, but I wasn’t doing that today.

Today once I showed up and stayed present I found myself appreciating my body right where it is. I was gentle and kind to myself and accepted exactly where I am in life. I didn’t pretend anything was different than it was, and you know what? I wasn’t miserable. I actually enjoyed myself and learned I could love me while noticing all my imperfections.

I’m glad I showed up for me today, with ALL my thoughts, on my yoga mat.