From Doubt to Manifestation: How I Learned to Trust the Subconscious Mind

The three-part journey that changed everything I believed about what's possible

When Bob Proctor said, "It's not the conscious mind that controls us, it's the subconscious mind," I thought I understood what he meant.

Then life gave me a masterclass in exactly how true that statement is.

This is the story of how a sick child, a $12,500 piece of equipment, and a plantar's wart taught me everything I needed to know about emotional involvement with your desires.

Part I: The Power of Belief Without Doubt

My 3-year-old daughter had a stomach bug that wouldn't quit. After days of worry, I took her to a naturopathic doctor in Colorado Springs who used a testing method I'd never seen before.

"Hold your daughter on your lap," she said, placing a probe on my finger while I held something in my other hand. "Your body can communicate for your child."

I could have questioned it. Analyzed it. Doubted it.

Instead, I just believed.

The doctor recommended two products. Within 24 hours, my daughter had turned the corner and overcame the bug completely.

But the real transformation was just beginning.

Months later, friends came for dinner while I was preparing for my high school reunion. They nervously mentioned equipment his dad had invented, worried I'd think they were weird.

When he described it, my heart raced. It was the exact same equipment that had helped my daughter! I was so excited—this was the answer I'd been searching for without even knowing I was searching.

Then reality hit: $12,500. Money I absolutely didn't have.

He mentioned maybe finding a used one, but my expectations deflated. Still, something inside me held onto hope.

The Christmas Miracle

Six months later, on a snowy December day, a package arrived. Inside was a brand new IQS machine with a note: "Pay us as you can."

It was the best Christmas miracle I'd ever experienced.

But here's what I understand now that I didn't then: I had been emotionally involved with having that equipment. I desired it. I wanted it. I imagined helping my family and friends. I thought about the possibilities, felt excited about them, then naturally let go of needing to control the outcome.

Bob Proctor taught, "Any idea that is held in the mind, whether it's with negative or positive emotion, will turn into desire."

I had unknowingly been practicing exactly what he preached.

Part II: Questioning the Belief Systems That Don't Serve You

Getting the equipment was one thing. Learning to use it while managing two small children and a struggling marriage was another entirely.

The hardware and software components felt overwhelming. My friend tried to help with long-distance instructions, but nothing was clicking. I felt stuck and frustrated.

Four months later, I chose to end my marriage and I moved back to Utah with just the bare essentials—including my IQS. I knew I'd need to work to support my children, and somehow that machine was going to be central to my future.

I landed a job as a wellness counselor at a health food store. The morning I was supposed to start, I had the strongest impression that I was supposed to be somewhere else. I knew it in my bones.

Every logical thought told me to take the safe job. Play it safe. Don't rock the boat. These were old, subconscious beliefs about security and "being responsible."

Instead, I called the health food store and said I couldn't take the job because I had "another opportunity."

I didn't. But I acted as if I did.

That same day I walked into Dr. Curtin's office (the equipment inventor) with my IQS and asked if I could work off what I owed, have a place to see clients, and learn from him directly.

He said yes. Then he paid me generously on top of that arrangement.

Staying With the Vision Through Ups and Downs

Learning to master the IQS wasn't easy. It looked simple but wasn't. I had to stay with my vision through frustration, self-doubt, and a steep learning curve.

Bob Proctor said, "The terror barrier, self-doubt, all this becomes very vibrant in your mind as you embark on change." He was right. Every step forward seemed to activate more resistance.

But I kept going. I got emotionally involved in building my future and practiced seeing it as if it were happening right now. Although I didn't realize that was what I was doing. 

The breakthrough came when I stopped trying so hard and started trusting the process.

Part III: Letting Go of the "How"

A year or so into my practice, I was having a particularly challenging day filled with doubt and discouragement. My daughter was in tears over the pain from a plantar's wart on her foot and she could barely walk. I considered having it surgically removed.

I tested her on my IQS, found a homeopathic remedy, and they decided to try it.

The plantar's wart disappeared quickly, like within 2 days. It hasn't returned in almost 20 years.

In that moment, I realized something profound: I believed enough to trust my equipment and testing. I didn't know "how" it would work—I just trusted the process.

Bob Proctor taught, "You don't have to know the HOW it's going to happen, you just have to practice seeing it, feeling it and the how will come into place. One step at a time."

The Daily Practice of Emotional Involvement

This journey taught me that manifestation isn't about positive thinking or wishful hoping. It's about emotional involvement with what you want and consistent practice of that involvement.

Consistently I pondered my desires. You can do this every time you sit down at the table, drive your car, brush your teeth, or use the restroom. Feed your desires. Don't abandon them in the face of your own doubt and others' doubt."

Here's what I learned about this practice:

Repetition is the first law of learning. Your subconscious mind responds to what you consistently think and feel, not occasional bursts of positive thinking.

Question your belief systems. Most of the thoughts telling you what's "impossible" are old programming that isn't serving your future.

Get emotionally involved. Don't just think about what you want—feel it, see it, imagine yourself living it.

Trust the process. You don't need to know the "how." Your job is to maintain emotional involvement and  take inspired action when it presents itself.

Stay with it through doubt. Both your own and others'. This is where most people quit, right before the breakthrough.

What Are You Planting in Your Subconscious?

Your subconscious mind is always creating your reality based on what you consistently feed it. It's not the conscious mind that controls us, it's the subconscious mind where we plant the seeds.

So what are you planting? Fear about what might go wrong, or excitement about what you want to create?

That Christmas miracle, career transition, and healing success weren't separate events—they were all examples of the same principle in action. When you get emotionally involved with what you want, question the beliefs that say it's impossible, and trust the process even when you can't see the "how," remarkable things become possible. 

The question isn't whether this works. The question is: Are you willing to do the daily practice of emotional involvement with your desires?

What desires have you been pushing away because you can't see how they could happen?

Maybe it's time to get emotionally involved with them and see what unfolds.

Remember: You have the ability to override old programming and create what you want. Your subconscious is listening to every thought and feeling.

What story are you telling it about your future?